What I've been Watching

(Ratings: 10 is perfection, 5 acceptable, 1 a waste of celluloid)
Remember, I consider anything 5 and above watchable!

Good Luck (1997)

Vincent D'Onofrio keeps surprising me with the range of his acting abilities -- a giant cockroach in Men in Black, a corrupt bookkeeper in Feeling Minnesota, a tub of lard in Full Metal Jacket, and in Good Luck, which I just caught on cable, a blind ex-Football player. In each, he's made the character believable to me, and (the mark of a good character actor) made me see the character himself, not just the actor playing him.

Good Luck is a "feel good" picture, about a paraplegic (played by Gregory Hines) reawakening the blind Ole's love for life. The background of the picture, set against a white water rafting event in Southern Oregon, is secondary to the picture (although the scenery is wonderful!), which is a story about coping. In the end, Good Luck tells us, it isn't about winning or losing, but getting the chance to play. And maybe throwing some furniture out of your window in the process.

Ratings
Plot	4
Execution	4.5
Satisfaction	5.5

The Mummy (1998)

"At least it wasn't a slasher flick". That's the best thing I can say about The Mummy, another effects-driven spectacle from Hollywood. The characters lacked dimension, the humor was overpresent, the mummy was honestly more boring than alive, and the plot was cardboard. It's yet another movie where the "heroes" cause a disaster, then get honored for fixing it -- and in true Hollywood formula, a completely unneeded love interest complicates the plot. Watch the original, it's a league beyond this version.

Ratings
Plot	3.5
Execution	3.5
Satisfaction	4

My first thoughts upon watching Pleasantville was that it felt like an update of Nickelodeon's "instant rerun" Hi Honey, I'm Home, a show with a black-and-white family moved into a real-world neighborhood. The movie did prove to be better than that series, but the ending came off as too sweet-and-happy, and the movie pulled too many punches and used too many cheap jokes. I would like to have seen more done with the Jeff Daniels character, and also more done with the idea and message in general -- but not a bad film other than that.

Ratings
Plot	4
Execution	5
Satisfaction	5

Ronin is the type of action film I enjoy: one with meat along with the senseless violence. Ronin covers the actions of a small group of hired guns, recruited to steal a well-guarded briefcase. Unfortunately, the operation is bolluxed from the start -- incompetent and corrupt teammates, a bogus gun sale, and complications from Russians after the same case. De Niro's presence is the movie's second biggest mystery (after the contents of the case itself). He's clearly several grades above the rest of the team, and finding out why he's in (and how he connects to the title) is really the main flow of the film. Ronin will probably not go down as a classic, but it's worth a look on video.

Ratings
Plot	5
Execution	7
Satisfaction	6

As a nice treat, this summer handed us a sleeper that's a legitimate hit -- creative, spooky, and surprising. Sixth Sense is the first truly scary movie I've seen since Jaws: in one scene about halfway through (you know the one), the entire theater jumped in unison at a ghost going past (followed by scattered nervous laughter :). Haley Joel Osment, who plays Cole, should be in the running for an Oscar for his nerve-wracking performance of a child on the edge of total breakdown. Count me as one of many who was shocked at the ending -- it made the rest of the film make perfect sense. I greatly admire Shyamalan's script and directing for keeping something in plain sight so well-hidden from the audience.

Ratings
Plot	7
Execution	9
Satisfaction	8

In the future, any would-be screenwriter who wants to do a comedy should be locked in a room with a copy of Bowfinger, as a lesson in how to do a comedy right. The entire theater was laughing hysterically when I watched Steve Martin's new comedy, from the opening shots of Steve Martin on speaker phone to the closing "kung-fu fighting" film before the credits.

Bowfinger demonstrates what is wrong with the modern comedy -- too many focus on cheap one-liners, smutty humor, and obnoxious (Austin Powers, anyone?) mugging. Bowfinger gets laughs the old-fashioned way: a good, funny story. When you give the sight gags and jokes a solid footing in the script, everything else just flows. The result is a movie you remember for more than just the jokes -- you remember it for how it made you feel.

Ratings
Plot	7
Execution	8
Satisfaction	7

Mystery Men (1999)

They aren't your garden-variety superheroes. They're the other guys. And Mystery Men is not your garden-variety superhero flick: it's entertaining. Although the best-acted part in the movie is probably Carmine (the Bowler's bowling ball, encased around her dead father's skull), Mystery Men is a funny, clever flick, from the opening fight ("Didn't anyone ever teach you to eat with a fork") to the closing wisdom of The Sphinx ("terribly mysterious"). It also marks yet another brilliant use of the song "Disco Inferno", surely a low point in American music.

Ratings
Plot	5
Execution	6
Satisfaction	6

Midwinter's Tale (1995)

Originally released in Britain under the title In the Bleak Midwinter, Midwinter's Tale is a charming tale directed by Kenneth Brannagh, about a small, broke director spending the last of his cash on a futile attempt to bring Shakespeare to the masses. He picks a small, eccentric cast -- the queen played by a woman, one actor playing both Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, and another adding a half-dozen different accents (none Danish) to his host of parts. Although outlandish, the film has the ring of truth in its myriad small artistic conflicts and huge squabbles, bringing back fond memories of my own days in high school theatre.

I enjoyed the first three-quarters of the film, but I felt it betrayed the truth of the story towards the end -- it is a Christmas story after all, and things did have to end well, but I enjoyed them more when they were going wrong. Even so, like most of Brannagh's films, worth a look -- and a second one afterwards.

Ratings
Plot	5
Execution	6
Satisfaction	6

Bullshot Crummond (1978)

Bullshot Crummond is a difficult-to-find television airing of Alan Shearman's play of the same name (later remade as Bullshot, a much less entertaining version). The play is an absolute scream, a 90-minute farce on the conventions of post-WWI action films, led by Hugh Crummond. He works against a German master of disguise, aided only by Algie (his trusted Butler) and Rosemary Fenton, a damsel in distress. After escaping death countless, time, Hugh wins through, to save the girl and the day -- in her words, he's not wonderful, just British. If you can find it, watch it. You will not be disappointed.

Ratings
Plot	5
Execution	8
Satisfaction	7.5

Monster in a Box (1991)

Monster in a Box is amusing monologue-cum-film, detailing Spalding Gray's experiences while writing his book, Impossible Vacation. As Spalding Gray explains, THIS is the box (pointing to crate), and THIS is the monster in it (displaying an enormous three-ring binder). The movie should be boring, being just a 2-hour talking head, but Gray's speaking style is hypnotic, and clever camera work adds a new dimension to his story. The action always picked up whenever my attention began to wane, producing a clever and amusing film.

Ratings
Plot	6
Execution	8
Satisfaction	6

Shakespeare in Love (1998)

If I had realized Tom Stoppard was involved in the script, I would have seen Shakespeare in Love much sooner than I did. As it is, I give the film high marks for a involving story, near-perfect dialog, good comedy, and a good romantic subplot. I've never seen a better recreation of medieval times, and the excepts of Romeo and Juliet on stage were as moving a performance as I've ever seen. Judi Dench, as Queen Elizabeth, probably had the strongest role over all, although all of the casting decisions were excellent -- the more so because it starred almost no big-name actors. Although I'm probably close to the last person to have seen the film, I recommend it highly -- especially if you can still catch in on the big screen as I did.

Ratings
Plot	6
Execution	8
Satisfaction	7

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

I'm not exactly sure what to think of Eyes Wide Shut at this time, other than that I liked it, that it was a bit slow paced for my taste, and that it definitely gives me something to think about.

To me, the film is about the everyday deception of human interaction: we talk to people, but usually don't say what we're thinking. The cheerful conversation in the room with a dead father, the pretense of interest when Dr. Harford's mind is anywhere but on the topic, Kubrick has captured the essence of falseness in everyday life. More importantly, at the same time he explains the falseness: we care about the people we talk to, and dissemble rather than burden them with the darker parts of our thoughts.

From this start, the movie peels away the preconceptions of the Harfords: Cruise's smug surety that his wife would never lust for another, and Kidman's complacency with her attractive but apparently dull spouse. It delves further into Harford's exposure to the seedier side of his own city, and the illusions he creates that turn out to be far worse than the reality. Eyes Wide Shut is a film about motivations, illusions, and the line between what we think we desire, and what we actually are willing to accept. It succeeds in being the most thought-provoking film I've seen this year.

Ratings
Plot	7
Execution	9
Satisfaction	7.5

American Pop (1981)

American Pop is a well-made animated film by Ralph Bakshi, known for Fritz the Cat, Wizards, and the abominably bad Cool World. It traces the history of four gifted musicians, from the 1900s to the punk era of the late seventies. The film is a bit angst-ridden for my taste, dwelling unduly on the pain in the artist's life, rather than on the joy of creation. Not all musicians are demon-ridden, after all. Still, the music is fantastic, and the characters are compelling. If you enjoy thought-provoking animation, give this one a rent.

Ratings
Plot	5
Execution	6
Satisfaction	6

The Big Lebowski (1998)

Part Raising Arizona and part Raymond Chandler, The Big Lebowski is last year's best reason to watch Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, and Steve Buscemi. Lebowski, better known as the Dude, is dragged into the adventure when some would-be gangsters (actually a porn director's stooges) confuse him with the Big Lebowski, a wealthy businessman. In the course of roughing him up, one of the toughs urinates on the Dude's rug, setting the plot into action as the Dude seeks restitution for his loss ("it really tied the room together"). The plot starts out scattered, but quickly gels into a brilliant fusion of the wild antics typical of the Coen brothers films and the dark truths of film noir.

Unfortunately, some people couldn't see past the surface of this film (amongst other things, it has 2.5 f-words per minute), and panned it. They're not just missing the point, they're missing a nice piece of film.

Ratings
Plot	6.5
Execution	8
Satisfaction	7

The Fifth Element (1997)

The Fifth Element is a solid member of my favorite films list. Luc Besson, one of the most technically gifted filmmakers of our time, spins a masterful fairy tale, reminescent of Star Wars in wonder, but standing solidly as a unique picture. Bruce Willis gives another solid performance, though not as good as his uncharacteristic acting in Twelve Monkeys, and Ian Holm and Milla Jovovich round out a solid supporting cast. Honors, however, should go to Gary Oldman for his compelling (and insane) villain, and Chris Tucker as Ruby Rhod, the most annoying DJ in the universe.

Fifth Element was first conceived when Luc Besson was a child, but this works for rather than against the film. Parts are a bit silly, but they are overwhelmed by stunning visuals, life-like aliens, and above all else the most believable future since Blade Runner. If you've somehow missed The Fifth Element, do yourself a favor and rent it.

Ratings
Plot	7
Execution	9
Satisfaction	10

Wild Wild West (1999)

The critics have probably been a bit to harsh with Wild Wild West. It's not a great film, but it's certainly enjoyable, and a reasonable update of the television show. The high point of the film, besides terrific special effects, is Branagh's Doctor Loveless. His over-the-top performance captures the feel of the TV show perfectly -- a mentally-unbalanced villain, obsessed with technology and revenge. All the old Wild Wild West standbys make it into the movie -- sleep gas grenades, spring-loaded pistols, Artemus's ubiquitous toolkit, steam-powered wheelchairs, civil war vengeance, and even Mardi Gras costumes. I would have enjoyed the film more with unknowns in place of Will Smith and Kevin Kline -- Will Smith contributed nothing to the film, except to turn the intellectual West into a gun-crazy fool, and Kevin Kline played too much for comic effect, understanding the subtle genius of the original Artemus Gordon.

The fairly clean nature of the film (other than sexual innuendo) was a welcome change. However, the movie suffered from the "star casting" problem that many would-be blockbusters falter under, and also from a poor editing job. If they're going to dispose of a villain on camera, they really shouldn't cut the scene that explains how he dies (you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it).

Ratings
Plot	6
Execution	4
Satisfaction	5.5

The American Success Company (1979)

The American Success Company is a brilliant piece of satire starring Jeff Bridges. It's written as a "reverse fairy tale": Harry Flowers, loser in life, business, and love, has a sea change after encountering an evil prince. He decides to become everything he's not -- assertive, self-centered, athletic, romantic, and above all bold. The result? Harry Flowers finds wealth, success, and love, and it's a wild ride finding out how. The supporting cast is also good, including Ned Beatty as Harry's father in law, Bianca Jagger as the prostitute Harry eventually seduces, and Steven Keats as Rick Duprez, ace detective. A must see film, that sadly very few people have been exposed to.

Ratings
Plot	7
Execution	6
Satisfaction	8

Analyze This (1999)

Sometimes a light comedy, without pretensions, is the way to spend an afternoon. Analyze This is such a movie -- no real meat, and a predictable even-paced plot, but with lots of laughs and amusing sendups on mob-movie cliches. Several of the best scenes were unfortunately spoilered in the trailers for this movie, but I enjoyed it and recommend highly if it's running in a cheap theatre, or on video. It isn't really a $6.50 movie, but the $1.50 I paid was a bargain. The best moments centered around Jelly, Vitti's overweight bodyguard (who is a self-described moron), the worst around Lisa Kudrow's disappointing and superfluous performance as Dr. Sobel's fiancee.

Ratings
Plot	5
Execution	5.5
Satisfaction	6.5

Wild Things (1998)

Wild Things is a wonderfully screwed up flick, one of those that you can't really talk about without ruining. I became a bit edgey when the movie seemed over at the 45 minute mark -- and was rewarded with a solid hour of plot twist after plot twist, the movie getting crazier with each passing minute. Wild Things zooms to a satisfying surprise finish, with a delightful sequence of credits explaining prior scenes from a different view. The wonderful scenery provided by Denise Richards doesn't hurt. A "must see" for people who enjoy weird movies.

Ratings
Plot	7
Execution	8
Satisfaction	7

Star Wars: the Phantom Menace (1999)

Believe the fans, ignore the critics. The Phantom Menace is terrific -- only marginally below the first two, and miles above Return of the Jedi. The plot is good, the special effects without par, and the action rivetting. The only bad thing I can say is that Jar Jar Binks as annoying as everyone says. Advice? If you haven't seen it, skip work.

Ratings
Plot	6
Execution	8
Satisfaction	8

The Odd Couple II (1998)

First, let me say that I like Neil Simon. I loved the original Odd Couple, Max Dugan Returns, and even obscura like The Cheap Detective. With that said, The Odd Couple II was just plain bad. From the hackneyed overused wedding plot to the complete lack of any real point to the picture, this movie was just a pointless attempt to cash in on the appeal of another Matthau/Lemmon mix, and I didn't even think that Grumpier Old Men was a good idea. This movie felt like a TV special shoehorned into a big screen release -- it might work with commercials, but it sure didn't work without them.

Ratings
Plot	2
Execution	3
Satisfaction	2.5

The Matrix (1999)

Okay, so sometimes a big-budget action film is exactly what I want to see. The Matrix is blessed with the best special effects I've ever seen (a sure Oscar if Star Wars weren't coming out), a original plot twist, and compelling action and fight sequence. The directors balanced the elements of the story nearly perfectly -- the action rarely drags, and only one or two scenes rang false to me. I won't give away the plot here, but if you love big-budget scifi films, The Matrix is a must see, and a film that will be remembered for decades.

Ratings
Plot	10
Execution	7
Satisfaction	8.5

A Pyromaniac's Love Story (1995)

Back when I was younger, there was less of an obsession for big-budget action films and big-budget Oscar winning films. A Pyromaniac's Love Story brings back memories of those days -- it's a film about the people in it, rather than about special effects, a tremendously meaningful plot, or some great Message that must be learned. Pyro invites you to spend two hours getting to know its characters, and to draw your own conclusions from what they did. The basic plot involves a fire in a bakery, which is blamed on the owner -- his employee takes credit for the fire to save his boss and friend from going to jail, and the rest of the film concerns itself with a four-way romance between Sergio (the employee, played by John Leguizamo), his girlfriend, and the real arsonist and his girlfriend. I enjoyed it immensely, and recommend renting this film, or catching it on cable -- it's fairly obscure, but well worth it. Of course, I also enjoy any film with Leguizamo, no matter how bad the rest of the movie is.

Ratings
Plot	7
Execution	8
Satisfaction	7

Akira (1988)

Let me start by saying that I hate the term anime -- there's plenty of fine American animation, and claiming that being Japanese makes it good is like claiming that all foreign films are good because they're foreign. Some people do it, but it's bunk. With that out of the way, Akira is one of my favorite animated movies: great animation, a decent plot, interesting characters, and enough action to fry your mind. The plot, however, is very hard to follow if you haven't read the Akira comics. I recommend watching the dubbed version -- I first watched Akira in Japanese, and it made even less sense.

Ratings
Plot	7
Execution	6
Satisfaction	7

Starship Troopers (1997)

Sometimes a good bad movie is a fun way to spend an afternoon: Starship Troopers is an example. By throwing out all the cerebral material from the book, Verhoeven (of Robocop fame) has effectively shielded himself from the usual "rape of the book" criticisms: sure, he mangled the book, abused the philosophy, and altered huge parts of the plot arc. But it's impossible to claim that he was trying to be faithful, so I'm just judging the picture as a whole. What you end up with is an entertaining farce: cookie-cutter heroes, mindless aliens, and a jackbooted government that almost makes the audience root for the aliens. Starship Troopers will never make it into my top movie list, but I don't regret watching it.

Ratings
Plot	3
Execution	7
Satisfaction	5

The Puppet Masters (1994)

Puppet Masters is a movie that got a lot of bad press from the science fiction crowd (for the usual reason, "not following the book"). In my opinion, this is more a knee-jerk reaction than a justified position: Puppet Masters certainly simplifies the book (which you have to, to make it fit into 2 hours) -- it eliminates the larger scope of the invasion, and treats it as a small engagement, rather than a threat to the world. Amazingly enough, one critic of the movie bashed it for inserting a love story, and having a happy ending: perhaps he missed the section one page from the end, where Sam mentions that he and Mary "have time for 2 or 3 kids" before he leaves to fight the aliens on their home planet? So I have to say that I enjoyed Puppet Masters. It wasn't a great movie, but it was true to the source material, and certainly better than average for a hollywood scifi picture.

Ratings
Plot	6
Execution	5
Satisfaction	5.5

Predator (1987)

Predator was a movie that I just loved to pieces back in 1988 -- my friends and I watched it five or six times, and babbled endlessly about how great the characters were, and how the plot was just BRILLIANT. Some may claim that you don't change as you age, but 11 years has certainly shaped my opinion of this film. While I can't say I disliked it, I'm not sure how I saw what I saw in it when I was 17 -- Predator is fairly standard action fair, with cardboard characters (did we learn even one thing about them?), a motiveless alien, and of course a staggering body count. For the nostalgia department, this has to get a big "thumbs down".

It's interesting to note that I saw A Clockwork Orange for the first time in 1988 as well. It just goes to show you how well a good film ages, and how an average film pales next to the memories of it.

Ratings
Plot	2
Execution	4
Satisfaction	4

A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange is one of the finest pieces of American filmmaking, a masterwork by a director that will be sorely missed. It holds a place near the top of my own personal "best films" list, and is a must-see for any serious fan of cinema. It also ranks as one of the few movies I've seen that equal the book, in their own way -- although it handles Alex's character in a different way than Anthony Burgess' novel, I think it's hard to argue with Kubrick's vision.

Ratings
Plot	7
Execution	10
Satisfaction	10

Ruby in Paradise (1993)

Ruby in Paradise is an independent film starring Ashley Judd. It covers Ruby's life in a small Florida resort town, trying to make ends meet and sort out her goals and ambitions. This isn't the sort of movie I usually enjoy (it's clearly targeted at a female audience), but I found it curious compelling. The movie keeps a good mixture between Ruby's reflections, emotional scenes, and Ruby's day-to-day life. I recommend this if you're into "introspective" movies, like What's Eating Gilbert Grape and Smoke, although this film is shorter on light moments than most of the genre.

Ratings
Plot	5
Execution	8
Satisfaction	7